The Memory Book: A Grief Journal for Children and Families
Author: Joanna Rowland; Illustrator: Thea Baker
Published: January 14, 2020 by Beaming Books
You might recognize the book which inspired this journal, The Memory Box: A Book AboutGrief:
The child in the book generates a box of mementoes of a loved one she lost. It’s a magnificent book that encourages children to generate boxes of mementoes of their own loved ones. We recommend it highly–particularly for children who are experiencing loss. This book inspired the grief journal, The Memory Book.
Goodreads Summary of The Memory Book: I will always remember you . . .Joanna Rowland’s best-selling The Memory Box: A Book about Grief has helped thousands of children and families work through the complex emotions that arise after the loss of a loved one. Now, with The Memory Book, Rowland has created a beautiful grief journal to help readers put her methods into practice. The Memory Book helps grieving families process their emotions together by remembering their lost loved one and creating their own memory album full of photos and keepsakes of the person they lost. With gentle prompts and ideas for journaling, drawing, and talking through grief, this journal will bring comfort in the midst of loss and be a keepsake for families for years to come.
Rowland discusses the process of writing The Memory Box:
“In writing The Memory Box, a book about grief, there were three people and their families that I was thinking about. In 2014, a relative that was meant to get my first published book Always Mom, Forever Dad (a positive picture book on divorce) lost her father suddenly a month before the book’s publication. I knew she needed a different type of book, and that’s when I knew I needed to write a picture book on grief. When I first found out her dad had passed away, I saw a photo of her holding her dad’s hand on the beach with the waves coming toward them. That image stayed with me. I knew somehow that I wanted to make a nod toward that scene in my writing. At the time, I had no idea what that story was going to be. I tried a couple of different ways to write about grief. My first attempt was a nature poem. But when thinking about how I would help a young child through grief, eventually the idea of a memory box came.
I was also thinking about my childhood friend, Scott, who was also gone too soon. He studied birds and had such a sweet soul. I have some sweet memories growing up with him. He’ll always hold a special place in my heart.
During the two years I spent writing about grief, we lost Marisa to cancer. I had coached her in synchronized swimming for years, and she swam with my niece and older daughters. It was heartbreaking. Marisa was so full of life with the most contagious smile.
All of these people were gone much too soon. These families had lost a father, a son, an only child, a daughter and a sister.
I had to get this story right. I think going through grief and taking my youngest to her first funeral at age six, helped me find a way to talk about death with my youngest and find the heart of the story. It still took me over two years to get the story right.
Grief is hard. Everyone has his or her journey with it. Allow yourself to grieve however you need to. There is no right or wrong way. There are support groups out there and other resources to help. Grief can be hard to communicate. I hope The Memory Box can be a tool to foster conversations and help keep the memories of your loved ones alive. The book also includes a guide in back that discusses ways to talk to your child about grief.
For anyone struggling with grief, my thoughts are with you.”
Ricki’s Review:I often see posts on parent forums in which folks are requesting books about grief. There are some amazing books out there, particularly Rowland’s bestselling picture book The Memory Box. Yet I have never seen a journal about this topic. I was intrigued and really looking forward to reviewing it. When I cracked the cover, it took my breath away. The pages are stunning, and the prompts are incredibly thoughtful. This book is one that I will recommend again and again to parents/teachers who are seeking to talk about grief with children. It allows children to negotiate with the many emotions that come with grief and celebrate the people they are grieving. I am so grateful that this book exists in the world.
Kellee’s Review: My son suffered a huge amount of loss this last summer: 3 pets (ours and my in-law’s who we live next door to) and his grandfather, my father-in-law. As a mom, I was lost at how to help him through this time, mostly as I was figuring out how to navigate the grief as well. In the end, Trent has done extremely well emotionally for the tough time we went through! However, he definitely still talks often about his lost loved ones, so when I saw this book, I knew it was one that I would want to share with him because I truly believe that the best way to deal with loss is to talk about it. The Memory Box and The Memory Book are perfect jumping off points for discussing memories of lost loved ones with kids. It is a healthy way to navigate such a tough time! I am thankful books like this exist to help their kids when loss impacts their lives.
Teachers’ Tools for Navigation: Last semester, I (Ricki) asked my students (teacher educators) to describe a moment in their schooling in which they thought their teachers were wrong. One student shared that she was still deeply impacted by the death of a student during her middle school year. She said the teachers never spoke about the student’s death, which made it harder. This book offers thoughtful prompts that teachers can use in their classrooms (and that parents can use with their children).
Discussion Questions: Which prompts do you find most inspiring? Why?; Which prompts were harder to write? Why?; How did you feel as you wrote about your loved one?
Check Out the Beautiful Pages:
Read This If You Loved: The Memory Box: A Book about Grief by Joanna Rowland; The Remember Balloons by Jessie Oliveros; What a Beautiful Morning by Arthur A. Levine; Forget Me Not by Nancy Van Laan; Still My Grandma by Veronique Van Den Abeele, Really and Truly by Emilie Rivard; Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox; What’s Happening to Grandpa? by Maria Shriver
Recommended For:
and
**Thank you to Casey at Media Masters Publicity for providing copies of the books for review!**
If you are anything like us right now, you are quietly panicking a bit. Our young children (three, in Ricki’s case) are home for quite a while, and they cannot go to public places. This is different from the summer because…they cannot go to public places. Our parenting strategy is always to keep them busy. Our kids thrive on trips to the playground, visiting museums, play dates, etc. When we keep ourselves busy, everyone does well.
We know that online learning content offers a lot for kids. We did some hunting, and we found some screen-time options that offer great educational content. Luckily for us all, there are many generous people and companies offering educational opportunities for our kids. We’re sharing the list below and invite you to share other options! Something we are trying to remember—this will hopefully be a short time period. We all hope this passes quickly. In the meantime, we are all going to do the best that we can. Solidarity with the parents and guardians out there. <3 BE WELL!
There are some incredible authors who are doing LIVE (yes, LIVE!) readings and doodle alongs of their books. We are, quite frankly, blown away and in awe of these authors. Ricki’s and Kellee’s children are loving so many of these! Here’s amazing opportunities (some available for a limited time) for our children/students as we move to digital/distance learning:
Read Alouds
Mac Barnett, author of EXTRA YARN, SAM AND DAVID DIG A HOLE, THE TERRIBLE TWO, Shapes Series; THE TERRIBLE TWO, and so many more!
Mac is reading is books in order of publication, and he has over 40 books. We will be watching him every single day! He’s quite entertaining! Follow him on Instagram* to watch live at 12pm PST or watch the video within 24 hours! He recommends that kids wear a hat, and he answers questions at the end.
Starting 3/28, Mac Barnett switched to read alouds on Monday through Friday with a Live Cartoon on Saturdays.
Starting 4/2, Mac Barnett moved to using IGTV which means the read alouds do not expire at 24 hours! And he is going back to reread all of the books that expired on IG Live.
Starting 6/1, Mac Barnett is moving to once a week Book Show Club Book Show meetings on Saturdays.
Oliver Jeffers, author of STUCK, LOST AND FOUND, The Boy Series, THE INCREDIBLE BOOK EATING BOY, ONCE UPON AN ALPHABET, HERE WE ARE, and so many more!
At 2pm EST and 11am PST starting on Monday, Oliver Jeffers will read one of his books every weekday on Instagram* Live and talk about “some of the things that went into making it.” He talks about what he was thinking when he made each book, which is really neat to learn. He is archiving the videos on his website.
As of 4/29, Oliver Jeffers finished reading all of his books and is no longer doing Stuck at Home Book Club; however, they all are available on his website.
Kate Messner, author of the Over and Under Series, Ranger in Time Series, HOW TO READ A STORY, and so many more!
She has also gotten permission from her publisher to do read alouds on her You Tube Channel! Including the upcoming OVER AND UNDER THE RAINFOREST which doesn’t come out until August!
More read alouds available:
From April 20th to May 11th, PBS & Penguin Random House have collaborated to bring storytime with Michelle Obama. Families can tune in to the livestream on PBS Kids’ Facebook page and YouTube channel, or the Penguin Random House Facebook page.
Levar Burton is back to reading stories to us, and he is reading for everyone on his Twitter Livestream!
Greg Pizzoli is hosting the Standby Book Club on weekdays at 11am ET on Instagram* Live. (After 4/21, he will be moving to weekly Monday meetings at 11am ET.)
Barb Rosenstock is offering to share read alouds to some of her picture books. Please see the image above for guidelines.
Josh Funk has announced that on his Facebook he will be doing read louds there and on his Instagram.
On her You Tube channel, Laurel Snyder read aloud her newest Charlie and Mouse book and included an activity at the end. When finished, she is also reading from her picture books.
Josh Gad is reading books on his Twitter and Instagram* accounts.
The Atlantic White Shark Conservancy is going to do Shark Story Hour every day this week at 10am on Facebook Live! Available to watch later in the day as well! (Moved to about once weekly starting in May.)
Storyline Online has videos of celebrities reading their favorite picture books.
From April 2nd to June 4th, Dolly Parton is reading books from her Imagination Library during Goodnight with Dolly on Thursdays at 9pm on her Facebook.
Daisey Ridleyread BB-8 on the Run by Drew Daywalt on the Disney You Tube channel.
On Facebook and You Tube, Neal Shusterman is going to do a Storyman Virtual Reading Series reading some of his less well-known short stories. He’ll be posting two or three times a week.
At-Home with Kwame Alexander includes many videos including a reading of Crossover that has been added during the quarantine.
Dav Pilkey is joining in! He’s read from Dog Man and done some drawing on You Tube during Dav Pilkey at Home.
Audio Book Sync is back! SYNC is a free summer audiobook program for teens 13+. Returning April 30th and continuing 13 weeks until July 29, SYNC gives participants two thematically paired audiobooks a week.
Dan Santat has created the SANTAT ONLINE SURVIVAL SCHOOL FOR THE PANDEMIC #DANDEMIC! He’ll be sharing lessons on Instagram, and all lessons are available in a Drop Box as well.
Penguin Random House Audio is offering a collection of free audiobook downloads for teachers and parents with kids home from school – or anyone looking for a great story right now. The free “Listen at Home” collection of classic titles is accessible via Penguin Random House Audio’s Volumes app (through 4/30).
Time for Kids has released their entire Digital Library free for the rest of the school year.
Also, amazing news: Kid Lit Authors are joining together and organizing a virtual book festival for May called Everywhere Book Fest which is archived and available.
Follow #CandlewickClassroom on social media to see videos including #WriteWithKate, weekly writing prompts and tips from Kate DiCamillo, from Kate DiCamillo. Candlewick is also hosting Instagram Live events, including My First Book Club Live with Shannon and Dean Hale talking about Princess in Black. Also, they have a You Tube playlist called Stay Home with Candlewick Press which have short and fun educational videos.
Candlewick Press also created a book about the coronavirus for children and are offering it as a free download.
#OneBookConnects is a part of Read to Them, a non-profit organization that focuses on family literacy, and is an “opportunity for families and schools to read the same book together digitally.”
And don’t forget publishers always have amazing educator guides for us to use!
**Please note: This is just a small sampling of all of the amazing publisher resources out there!
Doodle Alongs
Ben Clanton, Author of the Narwhal and Jelly Book Series, BOO WHO?, and so many more!
Ben Clanton will be reading and drawing Tuesday and Friday this week. Our kids are very excited for this one.
Note: Now that these FB Live events have passed, Ben is moving to Instagram* Live each Monday at 12:30pm ET.
Jarrett J. Krosoczka, author of the Lunch Lady Series, HEY KIDDO!, and so many more!
At 2pm ET, Jarrett will be doing a live webcast! And since it is on his You Tube channel, if you cannot watch live, they will be archived. We cannot wait to see what Jarrett will teach us to draw!
Mo Willems, author of the Elephant & Piggie Series, Pigeon Series, Knuffle Bunny Trilogy, and so many more!
Mo Willems is hosting a lunch doodle each day at 1pm ET. “Learners worldwide can draw, doodle and explore new ways of writing by visiting Mo’s studio virtually once a day for the next few weeks. Grab some paper and pencils, pens, or crayons and join Mo to explore ways of writing and making together.” Lunch Doodles with Mo ran for 3 weeks and ended on April 3rd.
During the month of May, Mo hosted Thank-O-Rama each Thursday in May at 1pm ET.
Matt Tavares, author of Red & Lulu, Crossing Niagra, and so many more!
Matt Tavares, on his Facebook page live at 10am ET, is hosting Monday Mornings with Matt! The videos are saved on his page to view later.
More Art-Focused Activities
On his You Tube, Nathan Hale is doing an Adventure Comic activity called Cooped Up Comics and other fun activites!
These coloring pages from some of our favorite illustrators.
And many museums are stepping up on their blogs and websites to give us activities and resources to help with quarantine distance learning. For example, the Inside LSU MOA (LSU Museum of Art) blog has art activities and stories in art activity.
The Knock Knock Children’s Museum has started a Knock Knock at Your Door series to continue their objective even while closed.
Art Time Today with retired Elementary Art Teacher and Arts Ed Professor (and my Art in Elementary teacher at UCF!) Cheryl Smith includes lessons for all ages of kids!
Mark Siegel and the 5 Worlds team has released a free sample of their coloring book for the book series.
Visit the Cincinnati Zoo at 3pm ET/1pm MST Live where they highlight an animal each day on Facebook Live and include an activity to do. (Available to watch later in the day, as well).
Find a science-related video at Mystery Science! (Free memberships with some content available).
Kiwi Co., a company that has STEM focused monthly subscription boxes, is now updating their At-Home Resources for Kids (and their grownups) daily to help with STEM activities while schools are closed.
Oceans Initiative, whale experts from Seattle, have shared a free, virtual marine biology camp to entertain and inform kids while schools are closed.
Little Passports, a company that has social studies focused monthly subscription boxes, has opened up their activities for fun learning at home to all.
Scholastic has rolled out FREE! Learn At Home lessons that are very easy to follow Scholastic lesson plans (book, video, discussion questions)! They also shared that more will be coming.
PBS Learning Media has curated standards-aligned videos, interactives, lesson plans, and more for educators, and PBS Digital Studios has a ton of content in many different content areas.
Other Fantastic Learning Explorations
Our friend Jenny Seiler has put together an Edu Resources Padlet with lots of resources as well–it is separated by type of experience and is continuously being added to!
Join Miss Megan’s Camp Kindergarten for Morning Meeting (ages 3-7)! Videos are posted to the website and can be accessed whenever you are eating breakfast!
Join Mr. Jon and Friends weekday mornings live for musical fun at 10:30am EST/ 7:30am MST (or watch later on the page).
There is this great list of 150+Enrichment Activities for children while their parents work remotely.
Zoom is being kind and allowing their service for free! Zoom will easily allow anyone to have face to face meetings. And a kind educator created a document for instructions for students/kids.
Disney and Kennedy Space Center are offering free online activities, such as Facebook Live events and imagineering in a box, for kids during school closures.
Washington Teachers’ Union has createdLessons on TV where each day of the week will feature a 30-minute lesson for a particular grade group. (Mondays – Early Childhood 1st Grade; Tuesdays – 2nd & 3rd Grade; Wednesdays – 4th & 5th Grade; Thursdays – Middle Grades; and Fridays – High School)
John Krasinski is hosting Some Good News on You Tube. Not exactly education-focused, but it is good for life in general.
* Please note: Instagram Live recordings can be watched for 24 hours after the recording before they expire, and they have to be watched from your phone.
What are some ideas that you’ve found? Share them in the comments! We are in this together. <3
Please note: This post was updated by us often from its publication until May 31st, 2020. After 5/31, the links and information may not be as accurate.
Just Like Beverly: A Biography of Beverly Cleary (Growing to Greatness) Author: Vicki Conrad
Illustrator: David Hohn
Published August 13th, 2019
Summary: Just Like Beverly follows the life of beloved children’s author Beverly Cleary from her early years in Oregon to her career as a successful writer who wrote stories, including the wildly popular Ramona and Henry Huggins series, for kids just like her.
As a young girl, Beverly Cleary struggled to learn to read and found most children’s books dull and uninteresting. She often wondered if there were any books about kids just like her. With hard work, and the encouragement of her parents and a special teacher, she learned to read and at a young age discovered she had a knack for writing.
Beverly Cleary’s story comes to life in this narrative nonfiction picture book as she grows to follow her dreams of writing the books she longed for as a child, becoming an award-winning writer and one of the most famous children’s authors of all time.
Beautiful illustrations capture Cleary’s sense of humor, struggles, and triumphs, and are filled with Easter eggs throughout for fans to discover.
Praise:
“Hohn captures her lively spirit through illustrations, reminiscent of those by Alan Tiegreen for Cleary’s own books, that will keep young readers entertained. A loving and informative tribute worthy of celebrating Cleary’s 103rd year of life.” —Kirkus Reviews, starred
“Conrad writes with clarity and features significant details that bring Cleary’s experiences and personality to life for kids today. Hohn makes good use of color, light, and pattern in his imaginative illustrations, which interpret the text sensitively. The artwork looks fresh and appealing while suggesting the period, the emotional resonance, and the upbeat spirit of Cleary’s books.”–Booklist, starred
“A celebration of Cleary, literacy, and the pursuit of ambitious dreams, this charming picture book will enhance any biography collection.”–School Library Journal
“Debut author Conrad’s storytelling is straightforward, ably conveying—in tandem with Hohn’s homespun, vintage-style illustrations—the various eras of Cleary’s life and her passion for writing and for nurturing readers.”–Publishers Weekly
About the Author: VICKI CONRAD is a teacher with a passion for literacy development and inspiring students to love reading just as much as she did as a child. Growing up, she was always found with a book in her hand, and she has stayed that way ever since. When she is not writing or teaching, she is traveling the world, growing a garden, or searching for stories. She has called Seattle her home for many years. She doesn’t mind the rain, as long as she has coffee, friends, and good books for company. Just Like Beverly is her first book.
About the Illustrator: DAVID HOHN is an illustrator based in Portland, Oregon. His days are spent in the studio imagining what it would be like to be someone else, doing something else–and then he paints it.
Review:It was so wonderful reading about Beverly Cleary’s childhood! It truly showed how supportive teachers and parents plus some access to books truly can result in brilliance! It just took some guidance, praise, and confidence to make her bloom as a writer.
From a parent and teacher point of view, I loved that Beverly saw a issue in the children lit world and used a talent to work to try to solve that issue–what a great role model!
Teachers’ Tools for Navigation: There are three ways I picture this book being an asset in the classroom.
First, it is a wonderful addition to any picture book biography text set/mentor text set.
Second, it is a beautiful book to read aloud! And truly would lead to wonderful discussions.
Third, I could see it being used in conjunction with Cleary’s novels. How does her childhood story connect to the novels that she wrote?
Discussion Questions:
When looking for stories about kids like you and your friends, what type of characters are you looking for?
[Writing prompt] Write a fictionalized story that you can relate to.
What character traits did Beverly have to be as successful a writer as she was?
What does Beverly’s pride in winning a contest that she was the only entry say about you?
What do you believe is the author’s purpose for writing this title?
How does Beverly’s story fit the theme of “Growing to Greatness”?
How is children literature different now than it was during Beverly’s childhood?
Flagged Passages:
Read This If You Love: Beverly Cleary!; Picture book biographies about writers such as Some Writer! by Melissa Sweet; A Boy, A Mouse, and a Spider by Barbara Herkert; A River of Words by Jennifer Bryant; Papa is a Poet by Natalie S. Bober
Recommended For:
Don’t miss out on other nonfiction picture books! Check out Kid Lit Frenzy’s Nonfiction Picture Book Challenge:
Tomorrow Most Likely
Author: Dave Eggers
Illustrator: Lane Smith
Published: April 2nd, 2019 by Chronicle Books
Summary:Rather than focusing on going to bed—and what kid wants to think about going to bed?—this book explores all of the dreamy, wonderful, strange things the next day might bring.
Prompts:
Please view and enjoy the prompts I created for Tomorrow Most Likely:
I still remember sitting at my school desk wondering what to write about. It was eighth grade and my teacher, Ms. Ribar, had asked her English class at All Saints Middle School to write a creative story. My classmates were scribbling away, but I was stuck. What should I write?
Every writer at every stage deals with the problem of coming up with ideas. Where do ideas come from? It’s very likely the most common question an author gets. Looking back, I can see that the idea for my story came from a combination of luck, life, and imagination.
As luck would have it, there was a pencil lying on my desk. When I glanced around the room for inspiration, the pencil caught my eye. It could have been a binder or a paperclip, but it wasn’t. No surprise then that a pencil features prominently in my story.
At the time, I was 13 and my life had been turned upside down by the arrival of a new brother. He was two then and I’m sure that he was disrupting my ever-so-important teenage world. So, it’s not surprising that a little brother was a key character (or should I say antagonist?).
Most importantly, the freedom to imagine and create in that classroom let me consider a range of possibilities. What if the pencil was magic? What if everything it drew became real? What if everything it erased was gone forever?
That idea and the inspiration of my eighth grade teacher stayed with me for a long time. When I was finally ready to commit to writing creatively, the story resurfaced. After weeks of rebuilding the story from memory and revising it to work as a picture book, it finally found a home. Fast forward to today, that story I wrote in English class all those years ago has become my debut picture book, Arabella and the Magic Pencil, illustrated by Shaney Hyde and published worldwide by EK Books in September 2019.
Now, as a new author, I get to bring my story full circle – back to the classroom. I like to think that Arabella and the Magic Pencil belongs there. Hopefully, it offers young readers a sense of endless possibility. Students can imagine their own stories about a magic pencil and the class can problem solve together figuring out how to get your brother back if you’ve erased him. (Yes, Arabella really does erase her brother.)
I reconnected with Ms. Ribar to acknowledge that this book began in her classroom. As always, she was encouraging and supportive. I hope that young learners appreciate the teachers who are there every day helping them discover their talents before they even know what they are.
Arabella and the Magic Pencil Author: Stephanie Ward
Illustrator: Shaney Hyde
Published September 10th, 2019 by EK Books
About the Book: Arabella is a beloved only child who has everything a little girl could want. That is, until her brother, Avery, the master of mayhem, comes along. While she certainly loves him, she finds that it’s sometimes very hard to like him. So she spends her days creating marvelous, magnificent things with her magic pencil, and trying to ignore him. But when he spoils her perfectly proper tea party, she decides drastic action is required and she erases him from her life. Oops! But things aren’t the same without him — can she get him back?
Arabella and the Magic Pencil is a charming story, which will appeal to any child coming to terms with a new sibling and to caregivers who are supporting changing family dynamics, as well as those who love fantasy and engaging, alliterative language.
“A magical story with luscious language, whimsical illustrations and strong emotional core that will surprise and delight young readers.”
– Debra Tidball, award-winning author of The Scared Book and When I See Grandma
About the Author: Stephanie Ward is an award‐winning children’s author and reviewer who splits her time between London, Seattle and Sydney. She spent 15 years in public relations before deciding to dedicate herself to what she loves – writing stories for children. Stephanie has five award‐winning picture book manuscripts.
About the Illustrator: Shaney Hyde is an Early Childhood Teacher from Melbourne who runs art workshops for children and draws inspiration from her own playful childhood. Arabella and the Magic Pencil is the first book Shaney has illustrated, fulfilling a long‐held dream.
Thank you so much for this guest post looking at how one assignment can change everything!
Barkus: Dog Dreams
Author: Patricia MacLachlan
Illustrator: Marc Boutavant
Published: August 7th, 2018 by Chronicle Books
Summary: Barkus is back! With new tricks. New friends. And lots more fun.
The lovable Barkus and his lucky young owner romp through the pages of this delightful series from Newbery Medal–winning author Patricia MacLachlan. The simple text told in short chapters is just right for children ready to take their first steps toward reading on their own.
The best way to learn what kids are thinking & feeling is by listening to them, so I am happy to share my students’ voices!
We Shouldn’t Be… by Monika & Jordan, 7th Grade
We shouldn’t be scared, scared of the guy with the bullets who can end our lives with a push of a trigger. Shouldn’t be scared of the people who have jobs to protect us, yet murder us without thinking what we’re up to.
We shouldn’t be scared scared of the big bad men who look at us like we’re a meal and lick their lips hungrily. Shouldn’t be scared of being beautiful even though we were all made gorgeously.
We should be scared Scared of loving the wrong person, scared of THEM who will judge us because of who and what we love.
We shouldn’t be scared Scared of being judged by what we wear or how we do our hair instead of being judged by how we act and hand situations.
But guess what? We are.
We are scared of the bullets that are out there in the wrong hands.
We are scared of being beautiful because those men would kill for us.
We are scared of loving because THEY end up hating us.
We are scared of wearing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing because of THEM.
They, them It’s the world. We are scared of the world. But we shouldn’t be anymore. Let’s stop being scared. We are strong. We can overcome the fear, only if we come together. We don’t have to constantly be in fear.
and 
